Friday

Painful Discipleship


The house I currently reside in has many windows along the backside.  The backyard extends about ten yards from the house then drops off sharp to a creek about 20 yards down the hill.  This time of year I have groundhogs and squirrels running ramped and thick tall oaks budding along the hill.  It's nothing to look out one of these body-length windows at groundhogs that weigh 25 lbs sitting up on big rocks that support the bank. Sometimes I swear they're laughing and talking to each other.

With all the rain that has graced us this spring, you can imagine the robins that are everywhere looking and digging for worms.  On robin has made an impact.

I came home one morning from training at our box, as I walked in my back door I heard a bang coming from upstairs.  Then again, and again.  It was sounding about every fifteen seconds.  My first thought was someone is in the house.  Halfway up the stairs, the noise stopped.  Looking in the room,  I couldn't find anything.  Down the stairs and outside to see if I could figure this out.  I leaned out my door, and there she was.  A small robin was perched on a rod iron flower box hanging directly out from my upstairs window.  She looked at me, then looked back at my window and again flew into the window determined to get to whatever she believed to be what she wanted beyond that barrier.

Would you praise her determination or criticize at the insanity?

My first reaction was, "Oh my gosh!  Please stop!  That has to hurt!"

Sometimes our suffering is self-inflicted and it's only goal is unwarranted, unnecessary pain.  But my thoughts quickly turned to near applause and amazement.  There was something she wanted.  Something she thought was worthy of the pain she was inflicting upon herself.  Have you ever loved someone with all of your heart.  Well aware this made you vulnerable to complete heartbreak?  A Mom or Dad's love for their child has to be that raw and pure.  Have you ever set a goal that, to reach would be gratifying but the road getting there was paved with physically challenging, mentally draining obstacles.  I have.  Could my little robin be my reminder that passion, desire in action is - should be - paved with painful discipleship.  A life lived half way is no life at all.  Abandon your temptation to not go thru the pain and commit whole-heartedly to the goal.

Two weeks passed, my little hero's attempts have gotten fewer.  On single occasions, every other day, I hear her try again.  The compassion in me has made me analyze her behavior and the symbolism in my own life.  What about unrealistic expectations.  Not about goals we set for ourselves.  The expectations we put on others.  My robin saw a tree in the reflection of the window.  She wanted the window to be a tree, and she desperately, tirelessly is trying to make the window a tree.  She's willing to put herself thru countless blows and give her time putting unrealistic expectations on my window.  Have you been spending your life beneath your purpose because you live in unrealistic thought?  When we are used to being chained in thought, being "tied-up" feels normal.

Do you have a story you want to share with me?  Are you living passionately and fully free?  E-mail or post to the comments; chastitylayne@aol.com

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